Seriously???

Recently in the baby loss blog world, there was an uproar over a Ricki Lake episode that talked about mourning a loss of a child.  I think I've been living under a rock, I didn't even know that Ricki Lake had another talk show.  After watching this clip, she doesn't deserve it.  What her, and her expert doctor, suggested to a couple is unforgivable.  There is no fake it till you make it.  Let's just get this straight, the person you are before your child dies does not make it, the person that does is a survivor, a changed version of who you used to be.  Just yesterday I was listening to a Pink CD on the way home from Twin Falls, a cd that I've owned for months but since long car trips usually have toddler tunes blaring, I haven't had a chance to listen to all the way through.  Pink is not music I would listen to when I'm in one of my quiet moods, so I was quite surprised when this tune caught me off guard.

"Beam Me Up"

There's a whole 'nother conversation going on

In a parallel universe.

Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts.

There's a waltz playing frozen in time

Blades of grass on tiny bare feet

I look at you and you're looking at me.

Could you beam me up,

Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it

I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face

Beam me up,

Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,

I think, a minute's enough,

Just beam me up.

Some black birds soaring in the sky,

Barely a breath I caught one last sight

Tell me that was you, saying goodbye,

There are times I feel the shiver and cold,

It only happens when I'm on my own,

That's how you tell me, I'm not alone

Could you beam me up,

Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it

I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face

Beam me up,

Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,

I think, a minute's enough,

Just beam me up.

In my head, I see your baby blues

I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's

One of me, with you

So when I need you can I send you a sign

I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights

I'll pick a star and watch you shine

Just beam me up,

Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it

I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face

Beam me up,

Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,

I think, a minute's enough,

Beam me up

Beam me up

Beam me up

Could you beam me up.

  Thank goodness someone from Compassionate Friends was given a chance to speak at the end of the Ricki Lake clip, or that there are people out there who write articles like this that might actually help this couple get to the point where they know they will survive.  Let's just say at five months away from Nadia's passing, I wasn't so sure we would.

Snowshoeing

Today was such a beautiful day, we jumped at the chance when friends invited Emily and me snowshoeing at Billy's Bridge north of Ketchum.  Luckily we were able to rent snowshoes small enough for Emily, and she was so excited to go.

Overall, she seemed happy to be out.  There wasn't a complaint until the very end, and she did get a free ride on the way back to the car!  What a great way to spend our day off from school!

Smash 'em!

On Saturday we went to a little girl's birthday party.  It was close enough to home that we decided to bundle up and take a wagon ride over to the event.  Emily loved the ride.  It has been so cold, we haven't been getting outside much!

In fact, today we did a little project I saw on another blog.  It was called Smash Balls.  We took equal parts flour and water, added food coloring, and soaked cotton balls in it before baking them.

 

Then when they are hard and crunchy, you smash them.  Emily used her plastic hammer from her construction kit.

 What a fun little time she had working on her coordination skills!

The first two weeks into the new year have been good, and busy.  Emily and I started a movement class together.  She loves going to her "dance" class.  The teacher uses nursery rhymes, musical instruments, and lots of props to get the kids to move.  After the introductory first week, the second week we worked on straight, curved, and zigzag lines.  A lot of the props used are things that we used to see in physical therapy, complete with an obstacle course to end each class.

exhausted after a swim

We also spent a day at the YMCA indoor pool.  She loves going to the Y to swim go on the water slide.  She loves to splash in the fountains.  She loves to trot around in the shallow water.  She is not a fan of putting her head under water or being on her back.


This was an exciting thing to see.  She was drawing the other night...

 and for the first time ever, she was able to draw something that you could actually make out what it was (other than her shapes).  Do you see it?  A body, two legs, two arms, and the two eyes.  It was a girl she told me.

Back to Reality

Tomorrow marks the end of vacation as Emily and I both head back to school.  This past week included 2 dinners at friends' homes, one dinner party at home, a New Years Party, and one evening with a babysitter so we could attend the Sheriff's Dept. Christmas parties.  We've slept in 'til 8, spent our mornings running errands and picking up packages for Dad's store, and our afternoons playing with games and toys.  The only routine we've had is not to have a routine!

Emily, like a big girl, sitting at the kids' table

The only thing we did off the To Do list is this.  Look who's getting a passport!

The Hughstons will be enjoying a Disney Cruise to the Bahamas this coming spring break.  And if you're around Emily in the next three months, she just might tell you ( a few times) that she is just a little itty bitty excited to go to Mickey's house (but Donald and Goofy will not be there because they still have to do the ice show).