Nadia was on the other side of the room. She was having to work a little harder and wasn't ready to be held yet. After I put Emily back (reluctantly) I emerged from behind the curtain to meet a surgeon who had been in to consult on Nadia. I'm not sure of his name, or his specialty, but I do remember key words like "quality of life" and "50%" It was the first time I remember bad news from the NICU. I remember asking Jessica, the nurse, if Nadia was dying... Aaron and I were able to spend that night on the floor of the NICU to be close to her in case something happened. And nothing did! Aaron and I were SO sure that would be the worst card we would be dealt...
I hated that surgeon... and I didn't say that about many in the NICU. To be fair, he did redeem himself weeks later as he was on call the night Emily had to have her open chest surgery and he did an awesome job on her. Her scar is hardly visible.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the worst card.
"These are my footprints,
so perfect and so small.
These tiny footprints
never touched the ground at all.
Not one tiny footprint,
for now I have wings.
These tiny footprints were meant
for other things.
You will hear my tiny footprints,
in the patter of the rain.
Gentle drops like angel's tears,
of joy and not from pain.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in each butterflies' lazy dance.
I'll let you know I'm with you,
if you just give me the chance.
You will see my tiny footprints,
in the rustle of the leaves.
I will whisper names into the wind,
and call each one that grieves.
Most of all, these tiny footprints,
are found on Mommy and Daddy's hearts.
'Cause even though I'm gone now,
We'll never truly part."
~Unknown
